Sitting Indian Style ( I know not politically correct sorry!)

So, when I was in kindergarden we used to sit indian style in a circle and play all sorts of games, it was so fun and I never once thought anything about it.

When I was in ballet we would also sit indian style and do our streches and chit chat about whatever little girls talk about.

When I was in High School I would sit indian style and talk to my friends at lunch, eat and do homework.

When I turned 30, I realized I could no longer sit indian style.  If I could manage to contort my body into the correct position or something close to it it couldn't hold it for long before my butt and feet would start to get numb then it was a struggle to get myself out of the position and up, no small task.

Siting the that position never crossed my mind until the day I couldn't do it, I was depressed.

But was it enough to get me to change my ways?  Nope.  I wasn't THAT heavy, no way I must just be getting old.

It was around this time that I also noticed that I couldn't cross my legs at the knees any more my thighs just would not allow it, the ankle cross was the best I could do.

This from someone who danced Pointe Ballet, and could hold a split position for hours, more depression.

SO what did I do to feel better?  I ate!  and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate well you get the picture.

So that was that, the weight was here and it was happy where it was too!  I fed it everything it wanted!  Ice Cream? Sure!  Pasta?  My favorite!

So my fat was happy and I fed it to make myself think I was happy and we were all happy!  Just me and my fat!

Until I wasn't anymore, until it got hard to get in and out of booths at resturants, or I got winded climing one flight of stairs, till the day my kids asked me to play with them outside and I only lasted 5 minutes.

Then I was not happy, I was mad!  Mad at my fat and mad at myself and what was the first thing that I wanted to do?   You got it EAT!

But this day I didn't I took a walk instead and I replayed my doctors words in my head " you don't have to have diabetes, to can reverse this but you need to lose weight you are too heavy" I listened to those words and found strength in them.

I can beat this!  I don't have to have diabetes!

I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT!

The rest lead me to this place, as of today I am 52lbs lighter than when the dr. spoke to me less than a year ago.  I have not popped any pills, or starved myself or done any fad diet.  It is my hard work and dedication that keep me going the thought of leaving my kids because I have may have a  heart attack is what motivates me.

I am stronger, and I am weak and I am human but above all I am determined to beat my fat!!!!!!!!!!

By the way I have written this whole post in the following position:

It's not pretty but its a start!

Love to you all!

Valinda