Skinny

Skinny, can you remember the time when you where "skinny" when fat wasn't even in your vocabulary?

I can't, nope I have struggled with weight almost my whole life, I used to dance pointe ballet and then I was thin, everyone would say feed that girl to my mom and she's too skinny.

Then I stopped because friends became more important than the one thing that I really loved, dance.

I danced for 15 years and when I quit my body didn't know what to do. I still packed on the calories because my body was used to burning them so fast but I was no longer burning them instead trading piruites for tv.

I gained

I went from a size 5 to a size 13 very quickly, I was only 15 at the time and I didn't really care, I still thought I was cute lol!

Then I moved from NY to AZ, where people wear a lot less and there are lots of times to wear your swim suit. This was my first reality check, I was heavy no way I was going to be like that, no way so I starved myself, eating only 3 times a week, if I was lucky and I went down to a size 8. WOW I was on top of the world!!

Boys paid attention to me, I met me husband and the rest is history.

Except it isn't, I got comfortable and comfortable = fat period. I was married, pregnant who cared what I looked like right?

How stupid I was, how young and niave, It's true I don't care what I look like. But I do care how I feel and fat feels bad, no one is happy with it I don't care what they say, given the chance every overweight person would choose different.

The difference is though that I am not doing this to "look" good I am doing this to FEEL good and that is the difference.

I don't care if some guy thinks I am hot anymore. What I care about it that I am alive and healthy to see my kids graduate and become parents that's what I care about that's the difference between starving yourself and eating healthy. I want to be healthy not skinny.

Skinny has a whole new meaning for me now. How about you?


Valinda