228

That's how much I weigh, just 10 lbs short of my all time high of 238.

I am embarrassed that I let it get the best of me again.  I was down to 171 at my best.  But in May I took a different position with my company.  It caused a lot of late nights, working weekends which leads to some of the curse words in my life

McDonald's
Panda Express
Jack in the Box

You get the idea.  Yes I got lazy and the most aggravating part?  I was so sick to my stomach when I started eating the junk again but I ATE IT ANYWAY.  I am defiantly addicted to food, it is my own brand of herion (shameless Twilight reference here).

So today again, I am back to counting carbs, balancing meal plans cutting out junk food (and diet soda) this time I am also putting the kabosh on alcohol.  No more drinking it leads to binge eating and poor judgement.  Anyway for those that know me I'm just as fun sober as a little tipsy.

So friends, I ask that you stick around to come back with me on this journey, to share on this forum your accomplishments and your failures.  You will not be judged, but supported and I ask that you give me whatever spare support you have as I will need it.  I am sorry I was gone for so long but I am back now and the only thing that's leaving this time is the weight.

Kisses,

Valinda

I hate summer in Arizona!

It is way too hot here in the summer!  LOL!  You don't feel like doing anything!!  Not even walking much less riding a bike or running or anything!!  I go swimming but all I want to do is lounge around, not actually swim and it is so frustrating for me.

I am off of the hippo, have been for awhile, I think a lot of it has to do with  my life as of late, I have been super stressed about money and all of the things that everyone else is stressed out about so I am digging deep and trying to get back to a routine, it's hard, I know this but sometimes it seems too hard I am not up really except for the 3lbs that I lose and gain again but it sucks!  The heat plays a big role in this because it is miserable outside, but that is not an excuse I'm not trying to make them just letting you know where my mind set is.

So back to motivation, I am trying to get my motivation back because honestly I have been feeling like crap lately because I am not exercising like I used to or eating completely right so my body is not happy, it is craving carbs again because I have been feeding it carbs again so I basically have to start from the beginning and this is where I usually give up, throw in the towel say 57lbs is good enough!

But it's not good enough, I am still obese, I have made great strides but I have not finished the race!  I still have a long run ahead of me and I do intend to finish it no matter how long it takes!  It is not an option, it has never been an option to not finish, to sit on the sidelines while other pass me by because I am too winded to get my fat butt up and run!  So no surrender no retreat!!!  LOL!!  It's a battle cry because this is a battle!

So all of my weight warriors put on your battle armor with me and let kick some cellulite butt!!!  What do you say are you with me!?!?!?!?

Valinda

If you are easly offended DON'T watch this video!

This is me stating my opinion and views, it is not meant to hurt or offend anyone but I believe in what I am saying and it works for me.

You were warned ;)

Please know I don't think this will offend anyone but I want to make sure because it is not my intention!

Kisses,

Valinda

Uhhgg!!!

So I was parusing the web looking for kindred spirits in the blog world that are trying to loose weight and get healthy, I googled "weight loss blogs" and got about 40 million results back, but anywho so I start clicking away looking for a good blog, new ideas just to connect you know what blogs are for right?

First blog I click on cute girl losing weight, funny, smart yada yada, I liked it!  Click blog #2 advertisement for some lose weight fast gimick, ok I get that click blog #3 advertisement for some lose weight fast gimick . . .hmmmmmm ok click blog #4 advertisement for some lose weight fast gimick!  WTF so I strat clicking like a crazy person, click click click crap crap crap!!  I found only 2 blog that were actual people sharing their stories the rest was scams!  This is why we are so messed up when it comes to being healthy!  We don't know what the heck to believe!

It's confusing, do this cleanse, eat this magic cookie, take 40 of these pills with every meal, it goes on and on and on.  I was so pissed by the time I was done I wanted to eat a Snickers!  Really folks there is no one thing that is going to make you thinner, the only person that has control of that is you!  Decide what is important to you and then research eatubg healthy NOT dieting.  You must change your lifestyle, your attitude your life, period.  Thats the only thing that will really work and the best part??  It's FREE!  You don't have to buy special food everyday or consistantly by pills or shakes, you can just eat regular food just make better choices.

So that's my rant for today!  See you all tomorrow!  3 day weekend!!!!

Valinda

I'M BACK!

Hello blog readers!




I know it has been way too long since I did an update! I am sorry!



I lost my motivation.



There I said it, when I first started this blog I promised to be raw and honest, and I have been. I just haven’t been able to write because I didn’t want to lie and say everything was good a rah rah and all of that stuff, but I also didn’t want to tell you that I haven’t exercised consistently in 2 weeks, have been eating poorly and have gained 4lbs back.



I didn’t want to tell you that so I stayed quite.



Not anymore! I am once again back on the hippo, it is difficult, I ate cake and ice cream and candy and burgers and everything that I shouldn’t have. Now my body wants it and I have to re train it not to want it anymore. I am embarrassed, ashamed of myself and sad but it’s ok because I am back on the hippo! I plateau’d and that was the catalyst for me to break stride and go back to my old ways. I wasn’t moving up or down but the biggest problem was that I knew what I needed to do, exercise more lower my calories to get out of that rut and I did the exact opposite!



I am not perfect, that’s why I do this blog to show you that a chubby girl can turn her health and weight around, but it is HARD and it has it’s ups and downs. I am not going to be able to be 100% all the time, I need support just like everyone else but I know I have it in me to be successful! And so do you!



Have you been having a rough go of it? Then let this be the time that you start to feel better about yourself, let’s work through this together, we can do it! We can be successful! I promise that no matter what is happening good or bad with my weight I will continue to write I believe that this also contributed to my lackadaisical attitude I just didn’t write about it didn’t verbalize what I was feeling or doing. This blog is very therapeutic for me, I feel like I have someone to answer to at the end of the day. So that’s why the absence I will do better, thank you for sticking with me!



Valinda

One day . . .

One day I will be gone from this earth, what I have done while I was here will be my legacy.  I want to be remembered for being a good wife and mother, I want to be known for my kindness, love and compassion.  I want all those in my life that I love to know that I love them fiercely, with my whole being.

I don't think I am known for these things yet, I am changing this now, I will be the person I want to be regardless of what others think or say, one day they too will meet their maker and will they be happy with the choices they made? 

I will not live with regrets any longer, my God is strong and powerful and kind and forgiving, I am opening up my heart to him now, a heart that has been closed to his word for far too long.  I pray that he will enter and dwell in my heart forever. . . .

Valinda

Dinner

The begining of dinner . . .

Rice is nice . . . brown not white is right!

Naked chicken . . .

But with the help of these . . .

The chicken is dressed!!

350 for 25 minutes and wala!!

Dinner!

What did you have for dinner tonight???

Valinda

 

Allergies

I have been suffering from allergies for over a month now. They are really bad this last two weeks I have been switching off from Benedryl and Clariton but I can not function like this for much longer, I am too tired to exercise because of the medication, I physically can not do it. Somethings gotta give.

I feel like crap when I don't exercise. I have tried tonight to do it but my body wont let me do anything cardio so I opted for stregnth training tonight but even that was hard to get through.

This is the first year my allergies have ever been this bad I can't even believe that I am still functioning honestly I am tired all day because of the Benedryl but when I go to bed I can't sleep it sucks.

I had and egg white and turkey sasuage english muffin for dinner tonight it was YUMMY! (not that I can taste much anyway) but the hubby said it was good lol! I also bought some weight watchers ice cream candy bars which are delightful!

Well I better try to get some sleep up at 4:30 am tomorrow.

Sleep well,

Valinda

This one's for you Priscilla!

For my BFF! Stay Strong Sista! We will beat the fat together!

Love Valinda