Emotions

We blogger buds, I am an emotional wreck right now.  I think the last 6 months has caught up with me, I miss my Uncle Rich a lot, I re-live his last day over and over wanting to feel like the decisions I made were right, wanting to tell him one more time that I love him, that he was never alone that he was special to me.

My mom, I love her no matter what she thinks but it's not enough.  Not enough to fix her or us or anything.  This week I really feel like my heart has been crushed under an insurmountable weight that I can't breath and when I do it hurts.

But, I have not wavered in my resolve to lose weight, I have not eaten my feelings away.  Maybe that's why I am feeling them so much right now because I'm not hiding behind food for comfort.  It's so hard, I want to eat something disgusting and greasy something so full of fat and calories that when I'm done I'll feel like a bloated elephant.

However, I refuse to give in.  I will not let my emotions lead me to that ever again.  Food is not therapy, it is not a friend or a shoulder to cry on.

We eat to live and I no longer live to eat.  I am done with that part of my life.  Putting it behind me for a future filled with bright tomorrows.  If you are reading this please live your life to the fullest that is my prayer for everyone enjoy life it is too short.

Kisses

Valinda

Uncle Rich, My Grump